Running on Empty

Would you like to know the day you will die? It’s a tricky thought exercise. What if you find out you’ll die at a ripe old age? That sure would make retirement investing and travel plans easier. But what if the news was grim? That you’ll die within the year – before you’ve had the chance to meet that special someone or take that dream vacation? What then? Do you live your life to its fullest or mope and fret over what’s left? What’s a man like Mortimer the mortician to do? 

“Running on Empty” (not to be confused with the far superior Sidney Lumet film or the catchy Jackson Browne song of the same name) begins with that playful premise yet quickly falls apart with repeated jokes and bits that grow stiff with each unfunny use, dead-eyed performances that looks like even the cast knew this movie was D.O.A., dialogue so mind-numbingly dull, it would have been painful to overhear in a coffee shop, let alone for almost 90 minutes. There’s almost nothing to savor from this movie past its initial premise, and, like a funeral that drags on in the summer heat, takes far too long to get to its inevitable conclusion.